The Rhyming of Rob (Genius)

The Epic of the Bop

“Da mihi sis cerevisiam dilutam” -Don Bop

Hither and thither thine Bop doth now trot

From here to there he need not be sought

He bip and he bops and he bops and he bips

He is but a boy, trapped on a skiff

Wherever he goes people look and they stair

Alas, who can blame them for he hard to bear

Thine self cannot dream of a more fucked up guy

Whom goes to the bar and says nay, I won’t buy

Bop needs not food, not water nor wine

All he doth need is Miller Lite and Moonshine

Although Miller Lite affects him not

Take two shots of whiskey and that fuckers’ shot

He owes many a cheesesteak to a whole gleeful bunch

But he shan’t give them up without a stiff punch

He drinks 7up as though it was gold

That douche bag knows not that his stuff we doth sold

He yells “Those Assholes!” when people fuck in his bed

He cannot even dream of the shit we have said

One looks to the fridge to enjoy some cold beers

But with earnest disparagement we were brought to tears

That thieving Don Bop had his way with our drinks

Tis all but ok because we’ll drown him on our sink

“You must walk like a Boss” I once heard him say

One needs a large stick to keep him at bay

He plays Call of Duty through the day

If he had but a life, I’d think he’s not gay

He wears a fly ass track suit among other things

And he blopps and he blapps and he blerps and he blings

Of all Bops possessions he wants not a phony

But please god make sure everything’s a Sony

He has rich parents, which goes without saying

Which beach house to stay at, oh no, I’m not playing

Although he loves those elevated trains

His naps under them are in themselves just the same

His great great great great great great great great great great great grandparents came off a boat

But this fucker speaks like hes trying to gloat

There may be an ounce of Italian in he

The thought of him getting punched gives me glee

Disrespecting families is what hes good at

One may only hope that his face meets a bat

And thus our tale doth come to a close. What need to be said is thusly enclosed. Although the tale of Bop just may be ending, I bequeath to you to keep this tale sending. With all strict dueness, I ask this of you, forget not the tale of Don Bop the Jew. With all of my heart, my feelings, my soul, I’ve heard not a tale as epic as thus told. Alas, fair reader I can rhyme no longer, my break is near up and I my times now asunder. Although tooling on Bop brings us feelings of joy, forget not that we once lived with that criox. Our time is at and end and although it was fun, I must now admit that alas, I am done.

- J. Robert Sweeney IV